As some of you might have guessed, I am on vacation at the moment. Still, being on vacation doesn’t mean having all the leisure time in the world to do whatever I wish. I’ve been looking for a summer job for the past month or so, and surprisingly I’ve learned a few things that have absolutely nothing to do with job hunting.
I live in the downtown district of the city. It’s a damn fine place to live, but it also has the highest concentration of homeless, beggars, and drug addicts in the city. It goes without saying that criminal activity isn’t all that uncommon. I’ve seen drunken brawls, gang fights, and even a shooting on one occasion. Violence in general can’t make me flinch anymore. Recently, though, I’ve began to encounter more and more donation frauds around my area. I’ve been asked to donate money to some cause every time I go for walks. I shit you not. It’s that bad. I think I’ll share two of the funnier ones.
This following encounter is a Unicef fraud. If you don’t know what Unicef is, look it up on Google. In a nutshell, it’s an international organization that deals with children. Two weeks ago, when I was returning home from a day at the library I was stopped by a Unicef representative. She began explain their long term donation program to me in hopes of getting me to sign up for it. Being a poor university student, I told her I didn’t have the financial background to do something like what she proposed yet, but I’ll keep what she has told me in mind. We struck up a pretty good conversation, and she understood the reason behind my refusal. After a bit more chatting, we parted ways.
A couple of blocks down the street, I get stopped by someone again. This person also claimed to be working on behalf of Unicef. One look at him was enough to make me suspicious of his intentions. The dude looked like a beggar. As strange as this may sound, all the beggars here seem to have a standard dress code or something. This guy fit the mold perfectly. I approached him anyway since just walking on would be impolite, and maybe this guy is the real thing despite his disheveled appearance. The first words out of his mouth were, “So, yeah, man, like I’m Unicef.” Okay, buddy, you are so not Unicef.
I listened to him anyway, wondering what other shenanigans is he going to pull on me. He did his poorly explained description of the long term donation program, which he probably got by eavesdropping on the real reps I talked to a couple of blocks back. Instead of presenting me with a properly printed sign up form, he asked me to leave my contact information and proceeded to remove a pencil and a piece of badly scrunched up paper from his pocket. Yeah, real smooth, buddy. I’m still curious, so I leave him with a random address that probably doesn’t exist and a false phone number. He then wanted me to pay him fifteen dollars, saying something about an advanced payment. Right, like I’ll do that, buster. At this point I decided to screw around with him a little.
I told him I’m actually an Unicef rep, and that I knew he wasn’t the real thing. He turned a little pale, and tried to explain about something but I keep interrupting him and told him I’ve already called the police and their already on their way here. Then I pretended to try to grab him, and the dude just bolts like his ass is on fire. I put up a little fake chase then just started laughing my ass off when he’s out of sight. A couple of pedestrians were confused by what just happened, and I explain it to them. I can’t help but chuckle remembering how the dude ran down the street.
This next one just happened three days ago. I was out running an errand and this dude passed by me while trying to hand me something. I was walking pretty quick so I didn’t notice him. I got a pat on the shoulder and I turned around. The guy handed me a piece of paper. I look at it and it was a mini sign language card with a few of the basic signs on it. I was confused and the guy started doing hand signs at me. Another look at the piece of paper and I noticed it said, “I am a deaf person, please make a donation.” Finally realizing what this is about, I nodded at this supposedly deaf gentleman. Seeing that I’ve caught the drift, he smiled at me and raised his palm with his fingers spread apart. At first I thought he was asking for a high-five, so I give him one. He shook his head and gestured again. I was again at loss of what to do. He pointed at the card in my hand. I still did’t get it. He seemed a little agitated and pointed at the remaining stack of cards in his hand, specifically to the line that said “make a donation.” Oh, so he wants my money.
I only had my credit card on me and no cash, so I tapped my pocket and shrugged, hoping he’d understand that I haven’t got any change. He didn’t get it and kept gesturing with his palm. I don’t know why I did it, but I muttered, “Five dollars?” And the dude nodded as if he could hear me perfectly fine! I mean, it was a mutter. My lips didn’t move. Yet he heard me! The dirty bastard had me fooled. I would have fell for it if I had kept my mouth shut through the whole thing. Realizing what this is really about, I decided to have a little fun. I began doing nonsensical hand signs at him. It was all over the place, and when he tried to gesture back I’d just keep responding. After a couple of rounds of insanity, I suppose he got upset and asked for the card back then left. I gave him a flabbergasted look and kept signing at him as he walked away. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face for the rest of the day.
On a more serious note, I wouldn’t recommend anyone doing what I did on either one of those occasions. I know that sounds awfully hypocritical of me, but you could be putting yourself at risk for doing what I did. What if you really pissed off the person and he or she had a weapon? You might be having fun one moment, but find yourself in a hospital, if fortunate, the next. I was aware of the danger when I decided to toy with them, and I was prepared to take action if they did attempt to physically harm me. It was also at a relatively busy location so if I were to become injured, I could seek help immediately. In short, screwing around with frauds are almost always fun, but do exercise some caution when doing so.
